Tuesday, August 18, 2009


I haven't done so well with keeping up with this, have I?

I'd like to blame it on my incredible whirlwind tour of the South visiting friends, but I've been back for a while.

Honestly, I think I'm just trying to get my feet under me. I realized that I am at an entirely new place for me. I am more or less stripped of identity. For years now, I've introduced myself as a teacher. For the past three years, I've added the subcategories of missionary and American living abroad. Well, what happens when those things are gone?

Being at a point of reinvention seems exciting to many people; a lot of you have told me that very thing. But being in it doesn't seem exciting. It's horribly stressful. I just want someone to make a decision for me!

I've been really struggling with that lately. I don't have a job, nor do I currently have any leads I'm interested in. So do I just blindly apply for anything? Can I go back to being a waitress? perhaps a bank teller? grocery bagger? And church -- I won't even go into the trauma of trying to find a place where I fit. Let's just say the help desk at church Sunday had no idea what to do with someone who is single, out of college, and not divorced, despite having probably 20 classes as options. And I have free time right now -- do I join the choir, teach English to non-native speakers, join a Bible study, help with children's ministries? I have no idea.

I just really would like some part of my life to have a direction right now. Pray for me, please.

On a positive note, I have lost six pounds in the past month! Being unemployed definitely gives you time to work out. :)

update on Dad, because I know many of you have been wondering. We've started to see the development of a couple other symptoms, so we're pretty sure it is in fact Shy Drager Syndrome. This isn't good news. But Mom and Dad have been handling it really well. They're planning four different trips right now!

Kathy and I are also planning a trip -- this weekend, we're going camping and white water rafting! I'm so excited. :)